Reflective Moments...

During this season of lent I have tried to be more aware of the time I spend in silence, actually how little time that is. It seems most of my days/nights are spent with some type of noise either neccessary or contrived. You would think there would be a lot of quiet days, since all three kiddos are in school and I am home alone during school hours. I have noticed that in order to fill the silence I rely way too much on the tv and internet. I find myself leaving the tv on just for the noise and watching random junk for way too long. Or I surf random things online for countless hours. It never starts out that way. I usually have a purpose, but quickly get distracted. Now, don't get me wrong...I am not so consumed with these things that I neglect the duties I have around the house. While I am sure there is much i could be doing, I can say the house stays decent, the clothes are clean, and dinner is done.

In recent weeks I have been making an effort to turn off the tv more and have decided not to go online on Tuesdays. This may seem small, but you would be surprised how many times I find "reasons" to go online those days. It never fails that I want to look up a recipie when I am cooking tuesday's dinner! The change that I have been trying to implement that is actually taking even more effort than that is the hour of journaling/reading/praying. I think my analytical nature has grown comfortable in the noisey environment I have created and therefore the silence can be quite frustrating at times. I find myself overthinking way too much and creating drama in my mind. I have enjoyed journaling, however it hasn't been online. I have realized over the years, because of self diagnosed adult add that I am able to focus so much better when i write out my prayers and journal my thoughts, so my journaling has been pretty raw, but helpful. The reading...well that is something i continue to struggle with, but i am trying ;)